Politics Of The Office Coffee Pot


Yaaaawn. Strrreeetch. You've been clacking away at your TPS report, manning the register or stuck on a conference call for what seems like an eternity, and it's time for a little java jolt.

You trudge to the communal break room for a cup of whatever brownish liquid they're passing off as coffee and...oh shoot! The darned thing is leaking everywhere.

The marketplace has seen a substantial rise in the quantity and variety of single-serve coffee pods and pouches in recent years. While certainly some of that can be attributed to convenience and increasingly affordable and sophisticated technology, there are almost certainly some complex interpersonal dynamics at play on the part of workplace administrators.

To paraphrase a popular scold, your mother doesn't work here - and if she did, she'd probably tell you to get off your lazy butt and do your part to keep the office neat and properly caffeinated.

It's a scene that plays out in break rooms and office kitchens across the country every day. Perfectly sane, rational adults who are thoroughly competent at their jobs, who serve the public with a smile, possess multiple advanced degrees and form the very backbone of the American workforce are seemingly unable to grasp the intricacies of coffee maker operation or the location of a suitable container for the disposal of Splenda packets.

The other half writes notes about it. Elaborate, lavishly illustrated coffee pot flowcharts and etiquette guides, shame-inspiring posters and plain ol' cranky printouts and hand-lettered admonishments abound in offices around the country.

We're giving you a chance to vent. In the comments below, share your best story of an office coffee offender you've encountered, or post a link to your own blog or picture of the most outrageous or passive-aggressive note you've ever seen on or near a coffeemaker. We'll highlight our favorite ones ones in an upcoming post.

After we've had our coffee.